Ricky Gervais and Jon Stewart misbehaving.

When did Ricky Gervais turn into hot man-candy?  Jon Stewart (The Daily Show) barely let the applause die down enough to be heard before asking a buff Gervaise (there to promote his new HBO animated chat show The Ricky Gervais Show):

“I’m watching the cartoon and they’ve got you lookin’ like Fred Flintstone.  Then you show up here looking like Gerard Butler (from the movie 300)  for godssakes!”

Two seconds later and the conversation spirals into their potential prison sex scene with Gervais landing the funniest punchline (at Stewart’s expense) that I’ve heard on tv in a long time (the dirty bastard).  After this riff, a defeated Jon Stewart rightfully tears up his note cards — the interview has taking on a life of its own.

The sexual tension between the two comedians really starts when Gervais asks a question of Stewart that begins with:

“If we were in prison…”

Anything that follows that statement would have to good.  Hilarity, debauchery and oral sex jokes ensue (shower scene edited out).

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Jay Leno - gracious exit?

While hindsight is 20/20, it is still enlightening to see statements we made so passionately years ago come back to haunt us as we realize how wrong or misguided we were at that time and how much time can be a great equalizer or destroyer of dreams.

Take the clip below of Jay Leno (@nbcjay) from 2004 announcing to his audience on The Tonight Show his plans to retire from the talk show institution he contributed to for 15 years at the end of his contract (2009) and his inner-peace and pride at  handing over the reigns of the show to a very able Conan O’Brien (@nbcconan).

Leno’s 2004 speech is profound precisely because he seems to be 100 percent resolute with his decision (particularly in how it would effect The Tonight Show brand) and because of his insistence that the 2009 passing of The Tonight Show torch to Conan be a positive, gracious transition and not a repeat of the bloodbath that occurred when he stepped into Carson’s shoes 15 years earlier (David Letterman and Leno are still – and will be forevermore if Letterman has anything to say about it -  mortal enemies).

As other talk show hosts and celebs (Kimmel, Letterman, Howard Stern, Rosie O’Donnell) voice their disgust at Leno’s refusal to retire (at the expense of Conan), Leno himself says in this announcement that hosting The Tonight Show into his 60’s would be tantamount to a slap in the face to Johnny Carson:

“There’s only one person who could’ve done this into his 60’s and that’s Johnny Carson — and I’m no Johnny Carson. “

Carson retired from The Tonight Show at the age of 66.  Jay Leno is 59 years old.

Conan - getting the runaround.

But perhaps the most cringe-worthy moments of the speech is when Leno praises Conan and assures the audience that the transition from him to Conan will be peaceful and positive:

“I don’t think there’s anyone better [than Conan].  Because you know, when I took this show over there was a lot of animosity between me and Dave [Letterman] — who was going to get the show and, frankly, good friendships were damaged.  You know, this show is like a dynasty.  You hold it and then you hand it off to the next person.I don’t want to see all the fighting, and who’s better and nasty things back and forth in the press, so right now, here it is – Conan it’s yours! See you in five years, buddy!”

It’s rather remarkeable that both instances of Leno getting the job of host of The Tonight Show (initially in 1992 and then again after Conan leaves this week) are marred by very similar bloodbaths that left other talk show hosts (Letterman and Conan) bruised and confused.  There’s less bloodshed between the Bloods and the Crips.

While it is certainly within the right and reason of Mr. Leno to change his mind about decisions effecting his life, he probably could have helped the situation a lot if he had just admitted to everyone that this whole situation at NBC is happening (in tremendous part – along with NBC’s greed) because he changed his mind about retiring.  It would also have been more honorable to fall on the sword of his own premature, bad decision instead of expecting Conan to do so.

Finally, NBC and the other broadcast networks would be wise to heed the real lesson here.  It’s a vastly different world today than it was five years ago.  It was foolish of NBC to think they could win with a five year old plan (think about it, if we tried to govern this country today based on the ideology of the Bush administration five years ago, what would happen?).  Our changing sensibilities due to technology, the internet and social media demand that the media we consume reflect who we are NOW (not who we were five years ago).   Heck, many of us don’t even believe we’ll be here in another five years (hellooo 2012).   We are, officially, living day-to-day hoping for a future but not really believing there’s one there worth discussing (morose but true).

With the collapse of 100 year old institutions in banking, automotive and newsprint (to name a few), you can bet that 50 year old tv institutions like The Tonight Show are just as vulnerable to the changing times and sudden demise (particularly at the hands of wayward, tunnel-vision network executives).  It’s time to start cutting losses and creating a future (not clinging desperately to a deteriorating past – no matter how glorious it was).

One can only wonder how Leno will feel when he goes “back to the future” to his old job on The Tonight Show.  Does this video make you more empathetic to Leno’s position or less?

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After several days of speculation amidst a shakeup of epic proportions at NBC over a tragic scheduling overcalculation that left two talented talk show hosts in the cold, Conan O’Brien has announced that he is leaving “The Tonight Show” and NBC for a fresh start.

Conan released a statement answering what many say was an ultimatum that was short of a slap in the face by his bosses at NBC after they sought to demote him from the premium late night talk show time slot of 11:35PM back to 1:00AM (his old time slot) to make room for a returning (and humbled) Jay Leno who failed to capture prime time gold.

Ever-so-gracious, Conan doesn’t mince words or hold back about his feelings of hope for “The Tonight Show” Brand and his future as its host being effectively taken from him.

His statement, in its entirety, reads:

People of Earth:

In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn’t the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn’t matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.

There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.

Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.

Yours,

Conan

Whether NBC will have to pay the steep $50 million fee for cutting his 11:35 time slot is not yet clear but, with FOX courting Conan and with Conan getting an outpouring of sympathy from fans, colleagues and even viewers who prefer Leno’s brand of humor but who found NBC’s handling of O’Brien to be deplorable, it’s safe to say that NBC has just lost a lot more than a talk show host and, potentional $50 million.  All eyes will be on the ratings and subsequent fallout for NBC.

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Muddling through a monologue

NBC’s Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (@LateNightJimmy) taped it’s first episode of the Fall ‘09 season and I was there, live, watching the production and Jimmy Fallon (@jimmyfallon) every move (along with about 125 other people in the studio audience).  It was, as a matter of full disclosure, the first time I’ve seen an episode of his show in full.  Seeing a talk show live is probably the strangest way to see a show for the very first time; it’s a raw, naked, intense feel, the setting is far more intimate, and you feel more charitable towards the jokes.  But I’m getting ahead of myself!

As I waited in the corridor with the rest of the audience, I thought back to Fallon’s SNL days, to Nick Burns (”Your Company’s Computer Guy “) and I wondered:  how the heck does this guy command an audience?  I’ve long been… intrigued by Lorne Michaels’ decision to put Fallon in Late Night just as, I’m sure, people were puzzled when he’d put Conan in the slot.  But Fallon’s got a wide swath of fans (almost two million Twitter followers, for what it’s worth), and just with anyone else who’s well-liked, I’m willing to give them a chance.

The Roots (and Fallon)

We were all ushered, in discrete groups, through security, to the elevator, and into the Late Night studio.  There were a dozen monitors hanging from the rafters for the audience to watch.  The audience member in front of me was wearing a mike, so I worried that at some point I’d be on TV and have to smile and be polite.  Not much was happening on stage except for a few people hurrying across to do one thing or another.  But after the entire audience was seated, the warm-up comedian appeared, told us not to shout out too much (no completing sentences or calls of “Jersey” which the sensitive microphones would pick up), told us where the fire exits were, and engaged with a few members of the audience.  He called some of them gay, which I found a little discomfiting but, heck, I couldn’t see who he was teasing, maybe they took it all in good fun.

But then The Roots (@questlove) came out!  And here’s the thing about Late Night with Jimmy Fallon:  whatever else can be said of it, he really does have the best damn house band.  They warmed up by playing a full song, their guitarist coming up through the audience, and you got an overwhelming sense of what a slick, cool production the Late Night people want to put out every night.

And then Jimmy steps through the curtain.

Here is what I like about Jimmy Fallon:  I don’t think I’ve ever gotten such a vibe of earnestness from any other talk show personality.  This is a guy who wants to make his audience happy, have a good time with his guests, do his best every night.  But I wonder if my impression of earnestness comes from the nervousness that Fallon seems to keep under control, as though he can’t really believe that he’s doing this show, either.  Maybe I’m just reading into things, although it’s not like I’d blame him, since he’s still a rookie (even if he’s been on TV for years in his former incarnation on Saturday Night Live and as host of various awards shows).

The thing is, though, that Jimmy Fallon’s monologue is the weakest in late night.  So often, it feels like there’s no confidence in his punchlines—as though with many of them he’s thinking, “ha, well, the audience will know this is lame, but let’s throw it out there anyway because it’s kind of funny when things are lame.”  His punchlines rarely feel punchy. Combined with the fact that he frequently muddles his words, the overall impression is that Jimmy is in a place that’s too big for him.  If nothing else, it grants him pathos.

But, again, his eagerness to please comes through when he pulls two people from the audience to play a game to win Rock Band: The Beatles.  The two audience members sat in boxes and scooted with their feet to a finish line.  Might have been fairer if the woman hadn’t been wearing high heels.

During the commercial breaks, there’s a bit of elegant chaos as the cameras swarm around into position and Jimmy reviews his cue cards for the next segment.  It’s sort of fun to see all this stuff that’s invisible on TV, and to realize that there’s always at least six people on the stage besides the host and guests, manning the cameras and running around to make sure things go smoothly.  Meanwhile, The Roots are playing most of the time, which is a joy.

Elijah Wood

Fallon’s next bit is a taped segment where he plays Robert Pattinson, sitting up in a tree, talking about the things that bother (“bovver”) him, which has some good moments (I will admit it!) but which ran rather longer than it needed to (denoting, it would seem, the difficulty in producing 44 minutes of entertainment every night).  After that, the first guest, Elijah Wood comes on.  Did you know how skinny this boy is?!  Maybe he’d beefed up for The Lord of the Rings, I really can’t say. The interview had some interesting bits about voice acting (Wood is promoting the new animated film he is staring in called Nine).  Fallon can be a bit dull in his questioning.  It’s a tricky art, though, I’ll admit (I would hardly fare any better and, to be fair, I did like the interview in the end).

After a break, they came back to play “beer pole,” where one attempts to knock a beer bottle off their opponent’s pole. I guess the game looked fine, but it occurs to me that it’s not fast-paced enough to be all that exciting, and Fallon seemed almost serious when he was playing (he beat Elijah Wood handily).  When Conan O’Brien plays this kind of game, he’s constantly hamming it up and going overboard to really sell what’s going on.  Fallon doesn’t do enough to liven things up.

Taraji P. Henson

Elijah stuck around for the rest of the show, through Taraji P. Henson’s interview.  It was strange to see him quietly smiling the whole time as he listened in on the conversation, which carried on in that mock flirtatious fashion as is ever popular with late night hosts and their attractive female guests.  During breaks, he and Jimmy were usually chatting (so long as they weren’t preparing for anything else, i.e. beer pole), even exchanging hugs at a few points. All very heartwarming.  Taraji, for her part, left as soon as her interview was over, but she was lively, and Jimmy looked like he enjoyed having her on.

The final part of the show, of course, was the musical guest, in this case John Fogerty (@john_fogerty). I was mildly surprised by the time it took to set up—for the rest of the show, it seemed as though the breaks were about as long as they would be if they’d been filled with commercials, but a band obviously takes a lot more effort. They tuned, tested sounds, filed a few rows of people behind the players, and so on, taking about ten minutes overall.  And then the group is introduced, and they play, and you like it, at least if you like John Fogerty. (I usually don’t stick around for musical guests, but in a situation where I don’t have a choice, I could certainly have picked a worse night.) Once they wrapped up, Jimmy and Elijah hopped on stage, shook everyone’s hand, and closed out the show, with Jimmy running up the audience giving us high fives.  He gave me one! I can’t wait to watch the credits to see if there’s footage of the two of us giving each other weakass hand-slaps.

I can’t say it wasn’t a fun night.  But I’ve wondered before whether, in a live audience, I’d be more willing to laugh at the lame jokes of late night television (not saying they’re ALL lame jokes, but we all know they lameness is there). Turns out I’m not.  I was entertained, yes! I liked what was going on.  But I’m not sure I’d want to watch a tape of it. Maybe what really bothers me about Fallon is that, with the way he runs words together, doesn’t have strong punchlines, and isn’t always the greatest at talking to people, is that I imagine myself running a talk show in the exact same way.  Maybe people would find that everyman quality appealing, but I don’t think that’s what brings people around to him: he’s simply an eminently likeable guy who cares about what he’s doing.  And if there’s anything that can help improve a show, it’s having a person at the helm who cares.

So good luck, Jimmy.  Keep at it a few years, loosen up a bit, maybe take a public speaking class, and you might have something fine on your hands.

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Martha Stewart wants YOU (and bring your iPhone)

Leave it to Martha Stewart to give every other talk show host (her competitors) a proper smackdown when needed.  While the other talk shows are clumsily fumbling around trying to figure out how to incorporate social media into their shows by doing everything from having the hosts say “t-w-i-t-t-e-r” awkwardly a dozen times during every show to having social media accounts that beg fans to follow them offering stale, robotic updates in return, Martha Stewart (@marthastewart) is doing something truly groundbreaking on tv (let alone talk shows).

Stewart is taking her social media campaign to the people who use the technology the most and using her show as a platform to showcase their social media savyness and to open a dialogue on the impact of social media on old media instead of trying desperately to show us how social media savvy she is (every other talk show on the planet, please take note).

The call to social media arms on The Martha Stewart Show website reads:

“Do you spend hours tweeting about yourself or using Facebook? Is tech-social networking a “must-have” in your life? Well, we have the perfect show for you! On September 29, we’re dedicating an entire show to social networking via technology. If you’re passionate about tweeting, a Facebook addict, or a blogging fanatic, we want you in our studio audience with your BlackBerry, iPhone, or laptop in hand. If you’re interested in requesting tickets for our “Tech Show,” please tell us about your love of social networking — the more details the better.”

Heck, that’s us (and everyone we know!!).  Needless to say, we’ll be elbowing our way into the taping.  We love that Martha Stewart is grabbing the tech bull by the horns by dedicating an entire episode to learning about and discussing social media with the people who actually use it the most:  YOU.

No Tweeting at Talk Show

We posted a story last week called I-Spy: Why Tweeting at a Talk Show Taping Is a Dangerous Game on the difficulty of live-blogging and tweeting from a talk show audience to underscore how ridiculously proprietary the networks are being at live talk show tapings (on one hand, they court us through Twitter and Facebook while at the same time threatening us for expressing ourselves via social media at their live-audience tapings — something that would, by the way, only draw viewers to their show, not snatch them away).

Kudos to Martha Stewart – talk show rebel.   To request tickets to the Social Media Tech Show taping, go here.

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We wonder what watching The Colbert Report will do to a baby bear.  There should be a research study on such a thing.  If they need a specimen, look no further than the cute black bear in this video posted to Colbert’s site.  We imagine Colbert (@stephencolbert) has humans, animals, insects and aliens from distant galaxies as fans so seeing this bear kickin’ it while watching Colbert on a laptop, ironically, doesn’t seem so strange.

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Griffin as Kate Gosselin - delicate flower

Comedian Kathy Griffin (star of Bravo’s My Life on the D-List) dropped by Live with Jimmy Kimmel and shared her latest project with Kimmel — a new tv movie (or a “tv film”, as she calls it) based on the life and times of reality tv momster Kate Gosselin from TCL’s Jon & Kate Plus 8.

Griffin nails Kate Gosselin’s backwards mullet (and lets face it, copying Kate Gosselin’s hair (and all its complexities) is half the preparation for the role). Do we smell another Emmy in Griffin’s future?

Juliette Lewis thumb-sucking badass

When the interview kicks off with Juliette Lewis (@juliettelewis) discussing how her rhinestone-studded, 4-inched spike-heeled boots make her feel like flying and kissing the sky and Craig Ferguson responds by calling her a “sexy leprechaun from another planet”, you just know it’s going to be a good interview. But those of us who are familiar with Juliette Lewis’ odd career path (from an actor playing roles that are steeped in sociopathic madness (”Natural Borne Killers“) to starting a rock band at age 30) know that she never fails to shock and entertain.

Here, she discusses her transition from her old band (”Juliette and the Licks“) to her new band and CD. She’s pushing 40 and looking fabulous (and if you’ve seen her in concert you’d know she can run circles around any 20-year old on stage).

Funniest part of the interview is when (completely overwhelmed and confused by Ferguson’s odd brand of humor), Lewis says to Ferguson:

“I don’t know who’s worse in this interview. I or you?”

Only a sexy, self-deprecating leprechaun from another planet could say that and get away with it. How can you not love Ms. Lewis? Speaking of loving Ms. Lewis, below is a photo of a very young Juliette Lewis and an equally young Brad Pitt when they were a couple over 15 years ago (time flies):

Juliette Lewis & Brad Pitt (early 90

Below is Lews’ interview with Ferguson and her performance of a song from her new CD Terra Incognita.

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Aubrey O'Day

This is probably the best evidence yet for why pop stars should not do political talk shows.  Aubrey O’Day (former lead vocalist of girl band Danity Kane managed by P. Diddy – @iamdiddy) visited the Fox News‘ popular and controversial show Hannity (hosted by the conservative Sean Hannity).   The producers of the show must’ve known they would get a gem of a soundbite out of O’day (not one to bite her tongue but not known as the sharpest knife in the drawer either — she was actually booted out of Dannity Kane by P. Diddy for this very reason)

And yet, there she sat amongst a panel of conservative political analysts and Sean Hannity.  It looked every bit as odd as it sounds.  Even odder was the perpetual red, white and blue graphic glued to the bottom of the screen that read:  “Great American Panel“  (really, we can’t make this stuff up).

Was Hitler brilliant?

Things ignited quickly when political analyst Erick Erickson began to criticize the political left (particularly Hollywood actors) for their infallable Castro-lust.  O’Day (as if on cue) jumped in countering with zeal and determination that had her sparing with everyone on the panel (including Hannity who accused her of loving a murderer).

O’Day offered the second oddest moment of the interview when she declared that she actually met and worked with Castro in Cuba (I only wish Hannity had asked her to elaborate  — this was the biggest “wtf?” tv-moment of the week).   After O’Day defiantly declares Castro to be  “an incredibly brilliant” man, Sean Hannity lathers her up with acidic sarcasm by asking her the following question with mock sincerity:

“Was Hitler a brilliant man?”

A seasoned, intelligent political commentator would’ve never fallen for this bait.   It’s an obvious trap that even a 6-year old would’ve avoided.  But poor O’Day not only walked into the trap, she sat in it, dug in her heels and, though she had a few chances to back-peddle with at least a small crumb of her dignity, she none-the-less announced proudly:

“Yes! He was a brilliant man!”

Aubrey O'Day -- political activist?

As the producers of Hannity likely yelled, “Score!” and high-fived each other, O’Day’s publicist likely poured herself a stiff, strong drink in preparation for the fall out from her client’s poorly-chosen words and her bad judgment at letting her perpetually naked client go on a Fox News political talk show to verbally battle Sean Hannity.  Below is the damaging clip.  If that wasn’t bad enough, I’ve included audio of O’Day’s first solo single (a remake of Eddie Murphy’s Party All the Time — why anyone would want to remake that song is beyond me but it makes sense that it would come from the same woman who declared Hitler to be “brilliant” on national tv).

Next week on The O’Reilly Factor:  Miley Cyrus on Obama’s Healthcare Plan and the Rise of Socialism in America.

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